Big Boss And the Chamber of Boredom

Curtains Rise 

There is a table in the middle of the room, on the left is the boys room, and on the right the girls’. There is a door in the middle of the wall, between the two rooms, that leads to the chamber of conversation with the big boss. The walls are vividly painted, and there are cameras (wherever you think fit to put them) to capture the activities of the room. The kitchen is where the audience will be sitting so some of the characters shall enter through the left-end of the stage/scene. You can also put some vases and couple of other things as you might think would suit the scene.

 

Open scene

 

Open the door of the chamber of Conversation with Big Boss. Enter Squirrel on stage in a very flashy manner as if to woo the world. With swaying hips and all that. She is definitely beautiful and all, but a little light in the head (which we shall see during the show). Whistles emphasize her entry.

 

Squirrel           Now, now…I knew you all would just run away as soon as you saw me go in…Why?

Giraffe            Because, besides that gorgeous fur you carry, some inner light would not burn them any lesser then the emptiness already does. Aind…because, the Monkey does not care…Aind…because the Lion is an utter fool, making decisions influenced by the Snake…Aind…because the Snake is cunning (which you will not believe), charming (which you will believe) and lazy (as you can see)…Aind…Because…the rabbit must be taking bath or she would be here…which, sorry as it might be, leaves me here, aind for you to judge. (He says this in a very matter-of-fact manner, he does not intend to hurt her, instead whishes well for her) (Goes and starts to help her carry the gifts that she has to bring out of the room, without even having her asked for it)

Squirrel           So! Being as weak as I am, am I not entitled to even such small requests as these? To carry some gifts for me? Isn’t it your duty to help me? Why would anyone refuse? (She asks most innocently/you have to keep in mind while you speak her dialogues that she is dumb/innocent not cruel/dark)

 

Right when she asks this question, the Lion and Snake come out of the room singing gaily in each other arms.

 

Snake              (Changes the lyric of the song he was singing and stars to sing in the same tune the given lyric)

O’ that wouldn’t be wrong at all,

Fair maiden I was waiting for the call,

But I believe it never came,

The Giraffe is just acting Lame.

(And seeing that the giraffe has already kept everything on the table)

Come now may I help my dame?

With these colorful gifts and games?  

Lion                 (Intrudes here in the same tune, if possible/you could give him a funny sort of a voice)

A very merry Christmas.

A very merry Christmas.

Ha-haa!

Ha-haa!

Ha-haa!

(Takes the biggest gift from the table and starts to open it)

 

He has only half opened it when the squirrel starts to weep. The snake slowly approaches her. The lion is dumb struck (stiff). The giraffe casually goes toward the kitchen. Upon hearing the sound of the weeping the rabbit and monkey appear from their respective rooms. The rabbit goes straight to the squirrel but the monkey stays at the door.

 

Monkey          (To the Snake, in a very harsh and dictatorial voice) Was it your doing?

Rabbit             (The rabbit is trying to calm the squirrel down) Nothing doing. (Without even looking up)(This should come just after the question so that it should appear that the rabbit squirrel conversation and the monkey snake conversation appear at the same time)

Lion                 (Suddenly in a blaming scared voice) Yes! it was him!

Squirrel           Yes it was him. (Still crying but pointing toward the Lion instead)

Lion                 He was…(The lion was about to put all the blame on the Snake but stops short. He does not know what struck him. And it should be evident from the voice.) What...What have I done?

Giraffe            (Coming back from the kitchen and casually answers as if the question was put to him/he is completely calm, in fact there is a certain amount of humor that he finds in the whole episode) You took the biggest gift. (Smiling)

 

All turn toward the Lion. The squirrel slaps the Lion and runs toward her room. The Rabbit slaps him again and rushes behind the squirrel. The snake goes to the door of the girl’s room, slowly walks up to the lion and slaps him again and goes into his room. The monkey, who was till now standing at the door, slaps the Lion from behind and then also moves to his room. The lion is silently sobbing. The giraffe sits at the table and starts to eat the food. The clock strikes twelve.

 

Giraffe            Merry Christmas. (To the Lion) (Smiling and eating)

 

The Lion bangs his feet and walks into the room.

There is a sound of another slap. And then a voice.

 

Snake              Merry Christmas my squirrel!

 

After some time.

 

Squirrel           (Still weeping) Merry Christmas to you too. (A bit more relaxed though)

 

Sound of another slap. And then another voice.

 

Monkey          Merry Christmas.

 

After some time.

 

Rabbit             Merry Christmas. (In a very shy sort of a voice. You could give a certain type of giggle to emphasize that.)

 

The lion starts to weep even harder, and rushes outside again. Snatches the food kept in front of the giraffe.

 

Lion                 Why should you get all of that? (A mix of anger and sadness)

Giraffe            I won’t.

Lion                 But you have already finished it.

Giraffe            I haven’t.

 

The Monkey coming outside.

 

Monkey          Hey Lion? You hungry?

Lion                 Yes. Sort of. (Calming down)

Monkey          Then why don’t you grab some food instead?

Lion                 What?

Monkey          Don’t eat our heads!

 

The rabbit coming out.

 

Rabbit             Oh don’t bother him so much. (Talking to the Lion now) They had planned this surprise for you. Just to make you feel happier. You can have that gift. It’s yours anyway.

Giraffe            And don’t you feel really happy right now? (He says in such a way that it’s hard to tell if he’s being sarcastic)

Lion                 What’s that supposed to mean?

Giraffe            It means that you have been fooled and beaten and fooled again.

 

Squirrel coming out.

 

Squirrel           Mr. Giraffe (In a very slow and sarcastic tone). Now look how you have hurt him. We merely were playing along. Isn’t it Christmas? What’s wrong if we had some fun?

 

Snake coming out. All of them are now sitting at the table. The Monkey and the Rabbit facing each other. And as the snake comes out even he sits goes and takes a seat.

 

Snake              In your sweetness and innocence, my Squirrel, you are always so right. You would anyways never want to hurt anyone. (The Squirrel nods an affirmative) (The Snake speaking to the Monkey) So what’s the game now?

Giraffe            Why?...Are you tired of playing ‘slapping the lion’?

Monkey          Knock it off Giraffe you are annoying me now. Lets just finish our dinner and then we can go off to sleep.

Rabbit and Squirrel (Simultaneously) We want to dance!

 

The Giraffe gets up and leaves for the kitchen. The Snake and Monkey start to clap and the Rabbit and Squirrel start to dance. The Giraffe brings all the food and puts it all on the table.

 

The Voice of Big Boss. All revelry stops.

 

Big Boss         Miss. Squirrel, I think I had asked you to give a message from my side today. But you seem to have completely forgotten.

Squirrel           (Trembling voice) Sorry big boss. It just slipped out of my mind. Actually, the snake, with his gentle words makes me forget all the important things.

Big Boss         Then I can tell you that you are free to celebrate this Christmas with you family. You are eliminated.

 

Sounds of gasps. All shocked.

 

Snake              (Sort getting excited and angry) But Big Boss you can’t!

Big Boss         You are also eliminated for having planned the joke on Mr. Lion. So you can celebrate the Christmas with your family as well.

 

The rabbit begins to cry, the Monkey is sitting quietly at the table without moving. The Snake and Squirrel move to their rooms. There is silence otherwise. And the curtain begins to fall. But then the giraffe starts to speak.

 

Giraffe            You have again been entertained for 10 minutes. You have seen a fight. A SURPRISE. You have seen tears. Heard sobs. Some Smart comments. A Song. Some music. There is a possibility that some of you even smiled at some of the jokes. On the contrary some might have asked themselves, why was I watching this for the last 10 minutes? Some might be feeling a sense of nostalgia. But I am only wondering one thing…

                        Why did they make it in the first place? Lakhs of money invested in such inane entertainment. Is this what you call entertainment? Is this how you want to be entertained? By watching catfights, thoroughly dumb conversations, stupid surprises, vain anger, and characterless characters. Is this how you wish to spend your lives? Witnessing and in fact glorifying the torture of entertainment, of the sad murder of knowledge and creativity, of the false hanging of the basic instinct of the need for beauty. Of everything that was considered beautiful…humane…Of that that was worth living for, which healed the mind and helped it grow, which pleased the eyes, and helped open the mind. But then it’s your choice, is this the stupidity you wish to see?

 

                        If it is! There you had it. Otherwise think about it.

                        Merry Christmas once again.

 

Closure.